we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
