The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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