Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
