Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You ruined the universe
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
