maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
