I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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