I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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