This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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