She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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