remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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