Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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