i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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