He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
