I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
