then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
