she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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