That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
