i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
