I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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