you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
