Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
