i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
