When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
