I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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