what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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