I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
