Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
