im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
