Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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