I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
