Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
