My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i need some magic done to my vagina
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize