dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
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