Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
