I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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