ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
