you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
