got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
