it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
