Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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