i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
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