Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize