wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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