my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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