bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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