On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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