yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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