maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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