i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
