She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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