Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
