Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
