alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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