i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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